For my fellow second year students and I it’s an odd time at the moment. Most of us are in the back end of our second of three years of training, and have just started our last module for this academic year. The last module is a placement (work experience) in an environment away from our home Church. That feels fairly odd for me, which I guess it is supposed to, as it’s partly for preparation leaving my current Church in just over a year. The separation from the people I know and love, and who have seen me grow, succeed and fail over the years, is a little more heart wrenching then I mike like to admit. Then there is the actual move itself, and all that entails.
It wasn’t just my life that got turned upside down when I started on this path it was my families as well. Over the next couple of months a few good people are going to try and discern where they believe it is best for me to serve out my curacy and the next four years of my life. This is very likely to mean a move of house, and the problem there is that curate’s houses don’t tend to come with grannie annexes. It’s a pressure that has been constantly in my mind over the last few months, and one that I have little control over. When I took on the responsibility of my mother-on-law’s well being, I didn’t take it on lightly. I know that both her and I expected her to live with us for the rest of her life. She is healthy, and we are in the position, if need be we will be able to sell our house and buy a smaller home for her to live in. But that’s going to be odd for her, and for us. Yet it’s important for me and my family that I serve in the right Church with the right training minister, and that decision cannot be impacted by a geographical limitation, or housing. Did I mention that I have near zero control over this?
As we know control is an issue for many of us, and it’s just possible that letting go of control is something that I might struggle with. For this and other reasons and although it’s a little bit of a cliché, Proverbs 3 and in particular 5-6 have become very real to me over the last couple of months .
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
It’s all well and good preaching about it, or theorising about trust in an essay, but this is where I have to hand over control to God for real. So it’s a time of trust. Trust that God put me on this path, trust that He knew I had a family, and responsibility for other people. Trust that He will guide those in control of the decision-making. Trust that I have done all I can, to be open to his guidance. Trust that where we end up will be the right place for the whole of my family, including Mum.
Trust is hard, isn’t it?