Mourning Club 1

I have just sent an email to the leader of Club 1 that I thought I would never send. For those not intimately familiar with the mud of Bath & West Show Ground, New Wine is a Christian camp held in Shepton Mallet, Somerset every year. And Club 1 is the best place to be for 12 and 13 year olds and has also been my home for at least one week of my life for the last eight years. Anyway, I just sent an email to the leader of Club 1 saying that it won’t be nine years in 2010. This combined with the stepping down from leading our 11-14s youth work at COGS has been by far the hardest decision so far on this journey. We will still be at New Wine just not working in Club 1, which possibly makes it harder for me.

My thinking? Well I”m not always the fastest to spot the obvious in my life that every one else can plainly see, but it is dawning on me that I really do need to do less, if I am going to complete this course. So with that in mind I decided I could only do one week at New Wine next year, which raised a dilemma that has been going around my head for the last month or so. Do I work on Club 1 or do I seek to work on a pastoral team and continue to build skills for the future? During this deliberation a bizarre third option became apparent; I could attend as a delegate, and not work! Pastor or delegate I”m not sure and will leave in Gods hands over the next year, but I did feel the prompting that it should be one of those two and not Club 1.

As I type this I am strangely peaceful about my decision. Whether I had already subconsciously made the decision weeks ago and have already mourned that loss I”m not sure, because I have certainly felt sadness as I thought about the possibility of stopping Club 1. However I do feel at peace now, which in my life is generally a sign that God is saying something along the lines of “wow he actually listened this time.” I”m grateful for my time in Club 1 and for the two leaders I served under, and I am sure I will continue to pop in and catch up when at New Wine, but for now one door closes as another opens. I suspect more may need to close as we move on over the next few years, because the door I have started opening seems to be a large one.