Park Bench - Image courtesy of m_bartosch /

A Place To Pause

Park Bench - Image courtesy of m_bartosch /
Park Bench – Image courtesy of m_bartosch /
If I am to update this blog when something significant happens, then I guess it doesn’t get much more significant then today. I am sitting at my desk on my ordination retreat and listening to the rain pour outside as I type. In six hours time the Bishop of Portsmouth will place his hands upon my head and will ask God to send down His Holy Spirit upon me for the work ahead of me. The ordination service will be one that is out of my comfort zone, let alone the comfort zone of those friends and family who will be there. However with what I have experienced over the last few days, I know it will be an incredible moment. A moment of initiation, of commissioning, a Holy moment.

The journey has reached a significant milestone, a place to pause before moving on. A place to remember those who have helped me through the storms of the last three years. A place to consider those whose journey paused sooner, and pray they discover God’s will for them. A place to mourn what seems, at this moment, the loss of friends as we move on. A place to recognise the sacrifice of family around me on our combined journey. A place where the excitement of what might be, rises within me. A place to sit and wait for the approach of new friends, who now are just bridging the horizon. A place to be thankful. It is an odd place full of sadness, concern, thankfulness, joy, anticipation and reflection. But it is a good place.

The rain has stopped now outside and the sky is beginning to clear. The bird song has returned, the metaphor does not escape me. As I continue walking up to meet those new friends on the horizon, I do feel at peace. I pray that you who have walked with me thus far will continue to walk with me. Even as I do, I am aware that for some that is not possible, and I bid you a fond farewell. It is correct that I continue walking at this point, deep in my soul I am aware that in some fashion this is meant to be. Am I truly walking in Gods will? I cannot know until I stand before Him; but as I have said so often whilst quoting Thomas Merton, I believe my desire to please Him, does in fact please Him.

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